Apple Seuss (A bedtime story and cautionary tale)

(Originally posted 3/19/20080
One night, at dinner, in her high chair
Kat would not eat , would only glare
She’d have no more of that apple slop
Force-fed to her by Mom and Pop.
It was wearing thin and wasn’t cute
That my kid rejected fruit
About to give up on getting out of this jam
I remembered the story of “Green Eggs and Ham”
I thought “I bet she’ll eat this time
If I narrate for her in rhyme”
Putting my plan into action
I went about my clever distraction
I said “We do not like our apples whole
We like them squashed and in a bowl.
Watch as Mom puts them in a spoon
You get to taste them really soon!
Feel how it squishes on and beneath
Your tongue and where you would have teeth
Take a swallow, what a treat!
Eating apple sauce is neat.
Another bite, good, one more now
Should we chew it like a cow?”
Anyhow, you get it, right?
The rhymes got her to eat that night
But little did I know what I’d set loose
By changing apple sauce into apple Seuss
Once started rhyming I could not stop
I’d rhyme at the carwash or while I’d shop
My editors gave me cross looks
When my articles read like kiddie books
I tried to stop but you wouldn’t know it
When all I said sounded like a poet
Distraught, I finally told Kat my worries
About how rhymes flew down like flurries
She took only a moment to think thoughts in her head
Then spoke only one word: “Orange,” she said.
My clever daughter had stopped me in time
By saying a word with which nothing would rhyme
So I caution you parents, believe now these truths
Use care when spooning out apple Seuss.